C'est le ton qui fait la chanson... (bluelass) wrote,
C'est le ton qui fait la chanson...
bluelass

.....

I never really understood what "quarter life crisis" meant until I reached this point in my life. As a kid, I would always tell myself, "What quarter life crisis are these grown-ups talking about? How can one go through something like that? YOU make plans, YOU figure things out, YOU know what to do with your life. This 'quarter life crisis' thing sounds so stupid." And yes, to a naive and taintless mind, it seemed so true. But then life isn't always how you imagine it to be, and before you know it, it hits you right in the chest. You THINK you've made plans, you THINK you've figured things out, you THINK you know what to do with your life.

But of course, I KNOW what to do with my life. I'm two years shy of being a full-fledged eye MD. I'll be taking my fellowship abroad. I'll be working my arse off and have a happy life.

Yes, a happy life. Isn't that what we're all eyeing ever since? Yes, I still believe that. But it seems like through the years, my mind has been trained to think that being happy means being able to earn enough to make myself happy. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. I'm doing all this sacrifice because that's what I'm bound to do. It's JUST really all about the money! And it pains me to realize how much I have forgotten about the things that really matter. I am now living FOR the money. I am not living for myself.

With that, I am now questioning this life I lead. What am I here for? Is life really just about the money? Whether I stay single or have kids in the future, is life really just about making money for me, or for them? I hate this. I really do. I have reduced this life to merely a money-making venture.

I have to change this. I need change in my life. I need to rethink my choices. I have to overcome this.

This life, this crisis that I have right now... I know it's trying to tell me something: Go make plans, go figure things out, go ahead and find out what you CAN do with your life. And yeah, go make yourself happy.
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